Legacy Photography of Jessamyn & Tia

Love Jessamyn holding Tia in her arms. The blanket was the one Laurel made upon her request - "i carry your heart with me - i carry it in my heart" - sooooo precious!

I love that Jessamyn is smiling down on Tia. This was just a couple of hours before she let her go, but she could still smile.

I thought this turned out beautiful. How we are all so enraptured with this child. My favorite part is how Tia is looking up at Jessamyn.

A tender moment for the two of them. Wrapped in their special blanket.

This is a unique picture with all the different elements. Tia was still long and lean at this point.

Joy Farr came and took professional photos before Tia was placed with her family. So glad Jessamyn thought to do this - they are so beautiful and so touching!

Sweet Photos with Tia

Minutes after her birth, Tia grabbed a hold of my finger and wouldn't let go!

As her face lost it's swelling, she looked more and more like Jessamyn.

Caught her with her eyes wide open. She slept 6 hours straight the first night and eats like a champ.

Plus, no fussing - so like Jessamyn was!

Love the "pop-eye" look she gave gramps.

Jessamyn was such a tender, loving mom. So attentive to Tia's every need and then some. I was so proud of her through all of this. She was fantastic! What a sacred experience to watch your daughter give birth. I will never forget how deeply that touched my heart.

We were so glad to have wonderful Whitney here to keep us all grounded. She is amazing! Her view of our lives and what would be most helpful is phenomenal. The more I get the opportunity to be in her presence the more awed I am by her mature and compassionate spirit. Love, love, love her!!

I got to spend Monday night going through labor with Jessamyn. It was better than I had expected. She was very tough. I read the last part of the last Fablehaven book to her when she was relaxed. She said it made her feel better. I just can't get over how amazing she was. Very much in control of her emotions and knew what she had to do.

After Tia's birth, Jessamyn stayed in the hospital Tuesday night. She asked me to come and stay with her which I was happy to do. I think Jessamyn didn't want Tia to not be in someone's arms. Our time with her was so short. Jessamyn held her almost constantly if she could. I was glad to be there to help her and it was a sweet time for me to spend with Tia as well.

After the placement, Jessamyn also wanted me to sleep with her. This is a sacred time for all of us. I didn't know I would feel this way. We hold each other and cry and talk until exhaustion carries us into a fitful sleep. How I love this girl of mine!

On one of the several nights that I spent sleeping with Jessamyn, she told me that this whole experience has done more for her than she had been able to see earlier. Now our relationship is so very sweet. She told me that I am her very best friend in the whole world. Be still my heart!! The Lord's tender mercies are so abundant in all of this. I have felt our relationship deepen as well and now after going through all of this side-by-side, it is indeed what I've always dreamed of and hoped for. Life is good! I have enough!!

BABY TIA

I don't know where to begin because there has been so much happening with us and especially Jessamyn. Whitney & Charlie came to be with us while Jessamyn went through delivery and placement. I picked them up in Spokane on Saturday, May 22. I could just eat Charlie up! So fun that he knows me so well now.

The kind doctors decided they would induce Jessamyn after softening her cervix on Monday night. When we got into the hospital Monday night, she was already dialated to a 4 and 75% effaced so they went ahead that night with the pitocin. She did fantastic!! I was so proud of how well she handled everything. We had a great nurse, Andrea, who told us what to expect and really listened to Jess. She got an epidural, which took half an hour, and then got it replenished a couple of other times. After 9 hours of labor and only 15 minutes of pushing - tada.....BEAUTIFUL BABY TIA is born at 4:47 am. She weighs 7.7 lbs and is 21" long. Dark hair, big hands with long fingers, and long feet. Truly beautiful. I wept as that innocent soul came into the room and they placed her on Jessamyn's chest who cried over and over again - "She's so beautiful! She's so beautiful!" And indeed - she is!

Tender Mercies

I don't want to forget how sweet the tender mercies of the Lord have been throughout Jess' pregnancy. My usually, highly emotional child has NOT been emotional during this whole time. Well, that is until this week - she had a bad day and cried at least 6 times! But overall, I count it as a huge blessing to have had her so level-headed and mature through all of this. With just a few days before her due date, I know she is worrying more and more about the final moments of placing her child in Brandi & Eric's arms. Oh, give us strength!

Pictures of my happiness!

I gave Charlie a toothbrush to chew on cause it feels so good on his gums. Maybe he'll like having his teeth brushed.

Love this face - so adorable with that chin, fat cheeks and beautiful eyes! Can't get enough!!

This photo is so dang funny. Charlie just kept wanting to get higher and higher on Mike till he was walking on his face almost. Love that expression!

Bottle time
We hiked up Silver Falls with Mer, Nick, Carrie, Ruby, Cam, Whit & Charlie. This was a great shot of my beautiful posterity.

It was like having two kids around. Rusty wanted to be in on everything.

Of course I had to make him a toy drawer so he could be in the kitchen with me.

Charlie and I had lots of morning time together to do whatever.

Charlie just getting out of the tub. He has great hair!

Love this photo of Mike & Charlie. What descriptive faces.

Jessamy, Charlie & Whit were all dressed in blue & white for the Apple Blossom Parade. Charlie had a comfy place to sit on Jess' big 8.5 month pregnant belly.

This photo of him in his bear suit reminds me of the "lost boys" bouncing through "Peter Pan."

Charlie Boy loves his grammy!

Families Are Forever!! Give me a waa-hoo!!

"The Happiest moments of my life have been the few I have passed at home in the bosom of my family."

Thomas Jefferson

We have had a sweet time this week with Cam, Whit and Charlie here. I thought they were coming the Friday night before Apple Blossom, but they surprised me and showed up Thursday night. Heavenly surprise!!

So all week I've been playing with Charlie Boy. I get alone time with him each morning so his mom can go back to bed. I have no words to describe how sweet this relationship is between Charlie and I. But I'm so grateful for it!

Whitney has gone with Jess to see Brad Reimer and also her physician. She is such a voice of reason. Brad asked if she had thought about being a counselor as her questions for him and for Jess were so thought provoking. After meeting with Brad, Jessamyn wanted all of us to have a little family meeting so we could really talk about what's happening now at the end of her pregnancy.

We knelt together as a family and Cam prayed that we'd be able to say what needed to be said and that we'd be able to fully support Jessamyn in what she needs from each of us. Jessamyn cried and told us her several reasons for why she's placing her baby. It was sad but touching to see my baby girl want to do this wonderful and difficult thing. She's going to write her reasons all down so we can all have them. She also asked us to remind her when it gets really hard, as she feels it coming on now, of some of the reasons why she's doing this. She's so amazing. And again, Whitney is so great at keeping everyone focused on what's important, talking calmly, listening for understanding, etc. She's really been so great and Jess is hoping she will come when she has the baby.

Phone Notes

I type in a few quotes I like on my phone so that I can read something inspiring when I'm stuck somewhere or need an emotional boost. Here's a few.

"BE OF GOOD CHEER!!!"


"Ring the bells that still can ring,
Forget your perfect offering,
There is a crack in everything,
That's how the light gets in. "


"Behold I say unto you that great things await you!"


"The secret of leadership is simple. Do what you believe in. Paint a picture of the future. Go there. People will follow."
"People don't believe what you tell them. They rarely believe what you show them. They often believe what their friends tell them. They always believe what they tell themselves. What leaders do: they give people stories they can tell themselves. Stories about the future and about change." - Tribes


"Most things make no difference. Being busy is a form of laziness-lazy thinking and indiscriminate action." 4-Hour Work Week


"Life's greatest happiness is to be convinced we are loved." - Victor Hugo


"On the day when the weight deadens on your shoulders and you stumble, may the clay dance to balance you.
And when your eyes freeze behind the grey window and the ghost of loss gets into you, may a flock of colours, indigo, red, green and azure blue come to awaken in you a meadow of delight.
When the canvas frays in the currach of thought and a stain of ocean blackens beneath you, may there come across the waters a path of yellow moonlight to bring you safely home.
May the nourishment of the earth be yours, may the clarity of light be yours, may the fluency of the ocean be yours, may the protection of the ancestors be yours.
And so may a slow wind work these words of love around yu, an invisible cloak to mind your life."
- Beannacht - Blessing
- John O'Donohue


"Here is the deepest secret nobody knows,
Here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide.
And this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart -
I carry your heart, I carry it in my heart."
- e.e. cummings


"Upon the brow of every man God has placed the word....hope." - Victor Hugo


"Don't set sail!
Tomorrow the wind will have dropped;
And then you can go,
And I won't trouble about you."


JSH 1:59,60 - (Instead of thinking that the "them" refers to the plates, think of the "them" being your children.)
"...the same heavenly messenger delivered thm up to me with this charge: that I should be responsible for them; that if i should let them go carelessly, or through any neglect of mine, I should be cut off; but that if I would use all my endeavors to preserve them, until he, the messenger, should call for them, they should be protected.
I soon found out the reason why I had received such strict charges to keep them safe, and why it was that the messenger had said that when I had done what was required at my hand, he would call for them. For no sooner was it known that I had them, than the most strenous exertions were used to get them from me. Every stratagem that could be invented was resorted to for that purpose. The persecution became more bitter and severe than ever before and multitudes were on the alert continually to get them from me if possible. But by the wisdom of God, they remained safe in my hands, until I had accomplished by them what was required at my hand. When, according to arrangements, the messenger called for them, I delivered them up to him; and he has them in his charge until this day."


"Much more important than what you do for a living is what kind of person you become. When you leave this frail existence, what you have become will matter most." RM Nelson


"Come what may, and love it!" - Wirthlin


"No misfortune is so bad that whining about it won't make it worse." - Holland


"Every step I have taken since I was a child has been to bring me closer to you."
"To find your prayers were answered - can not that be called happiness?" - Memoirs of a Geisha


"Oh, the comfort -- the inexpressible comfort
Of feeling safe with a person,
Having neither to weigh thought,
Nor measure words--but pouring them
All right out--just as they are--
Chaff and grain together--
Certain that a faithful hand will
Take and sift them--
Keep what is worth keeping--
And with the breath of kindness,
Blow the rest away."


"All have pain, but not all suffer. The body might ache, loss might occur. But for those who embrace my lifht...there is dancing!"


"...But in the gift of his Son hath God prepared a more excellent way..." - Ether 12:11


"He...made Adam according to Our image and likeness, and He left him lying for forty days and forty nights without putting breath into him. And He heaved sighs over him daily, saying, 'If I put breath into this man, he must suffer many pains.' And I said unto My Father, 'Put breath into him; I will be an advocate for him.' And My Father said unto Me, 'If I put breath into him, My Beloved Son, Thou wilt be obliged to go down into the world, and to suffer many pains for him before Thou shalt have redeemed him, and made him to come back to his primal state.' And I said unto My Father, 'Put breath into him; I will be his advocate, and I will go down into the world, and will fulfill Thy command.'" -
"Perfection Pending" - Elder Nelson - taken from coptic texts he saw in the London museum written by Timothy, Patriarch of Alexandria in A.D. 385.


"We are strongly encouraged by various scriptures to touch those within our present circle of influence rather than obsessively wishing for a larger circle." - Neal A. Maxwell


"I sing you to me." "And I will hear you." - Australia

My Charlie Boy

My handsome grandson Charlie!

Charlie is learning to kiss.

I'd say he's quite enthusiastic about the whole thing!

Jessamyn at 7 months pregnant gets to go see

8-month-old Charlie. They look mutually happy to be together.

Scripture Study

During Fast & Testimony Meeting this month, Cindy Burnett was telling about Vanessa having challenged their family to read the Book of Mormon by Mother's Day, when she would call home. Ever since hearing that, I knew that we needed those blessings that could come to our family for doing it. But how to convince Michael and Jessamyn. I stewed over it all night and into Monday. Monday before Jessamyn went to work she came to me and said, "Will you read the scriptures with me?" Oh, the tender mercies of the Lord!
Jessamyn asked her dad and then she told him how we should finish reading the Book of Mormon by the time she gives birth. He knows we all need this too. That means reading 7 pages every day. And so we are....
On Tuesday, Jessamyn came to me and asked if I would give her the lesson I teach in Gospel Essentials. It just happened to be on the Book of Mormon this past week.
We sat at the table and I presented her with the whole thing. We read from JSH, Title page, Introduction, talked about the Book of Mormon being the keystone of our religion. If it is true, then it's all true. She could see it.
The sweetest thing was that at the end of the lesson, I got to bear a powerful, albeit tearful testimony to my daughter of the Book of Mormon and the gospel message. It was one of the best things that has ever happened between the two of us. She felt it too and today our bond was strengthened. Oh, the tender mercies of the Lord!
I cannot say the hundreth part of what I feel - it is pure gratitude!!

Miracle of Miracles!!

"Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles..." It is all so interesting - the way we are presented opportunities for growth.
My darling, baby-girl Jessamyn, being now almost 7 months pregnant - has decided for herself that she wants the Savior in her life along with His gospel.
After listening to a CD by John Lund called "The Myth We Call Perfection," I can honestly say that some of my previous thinking has changed. He talks about how we fear for those who have heard the gospel and then rejected it. But what I like most about what he says is - who knows when someone has really "heard" it.
Just because Jessamyn grew up in my home where we tried to live the gospel and she was there doing it with us, to me that doesn't mean that it made it's way into her heart and her understanding. She dealt with so much other stuff along the way. Being adopted to her meant that someone didn't want her. She couldn't see that she was placed for adoption out of a greater amount of love than a lesser. She just could see that someone could give her up. These created such low feelings of self worth and lead to a lot of depression in her teen years.
What I'm saying is, I have a greater amount of compassion for everyone who has ever been in the church and could then leave it. I don't know what happens in those situations, but I do feel like the Lord will be way more merciful about them having a FULL chance to hear the gospel than I ever imagined before. His plan is a plan of salvation, not of damnation. And He is going to save every soul who will let Him.
And now, my Jessamyn, wants to try to work to do her part to save herself. She's also reading "Believing Christ" and can reiterate how if she pairs with the Savior, his perfection will save her despite her imperfections.
She can see now how much her birth mother truly loved her to be able to place her with a family who could give her more than she could at that time. Because that is just what Jessamyn is doing. She has been so committed and happy to place this baby girl with Eric & Brandi. She gets it now - it's love!! Her love for this child, and her birth-mother's love for her! Full circle!

I have had the opportunity to attend the temple a couple of times lately. Always a blessing! January 24th was Stacia & Jean's sealing and I went over with Greg, Cheryl & Mer. Great day. I am always amazed how when I am in the temple and asking the Lord to let me know he is there, he will, if I make even the slightest effort. During the sealing when the sealer is pronouncing the blessings upon them, the Lord touch my heart and spirit and let me know he knows me intimately. I am loved!

52nd Birthday

Birthday's are just not that big of a deal for me, never have been. But I have friends who insist on making it special. They are:

Laurel Helton, Cindy Burnett, Denise Crawford and Cyndi Bird who totally spaced the luncheon!

"Life's greatest happiness is to be convinced we are loved!" - Victor Hugo

Charlie Boy - Jan 2010

Charlie is a wild man when he's jumping in his jumping rig. He can really get going and is hilarious to watch. I think it's a sign of an active boy - nothing we weren't expecting!







How lucky I feel to have this great connection with my grandson.




What a treat it is for me to be able to stay with Cam, Whit and Charlie for a bit. Whit is so good at letting me have him every spare minute. I even watched him while she went to run errands. He was on the floor on his blanky, face down with his hands under him (which is how he sleeps) and I put my hands under his pant legs and massaged his fat rolls and he went out like a light. So dang cute!

This is Charlie's favorite toy (it's from me)- a giraffe that laughs and plays 3 different tunes.

"Rusty" - Jan 2010

On my way back to Alpine from Hurricane, I stopped in Nephi to meet a gal and pick up a puppy for Mike. I had been checking out ksl for days at Cam's and found this adorable face and breed that I think would work in our lives. She was born Aug 20th, is a cockapoo/mix and is chocolate with littler tips that look reddish. I named her "Rusty."
Luckily Alyssa was available in Provo to go with me to a pet store and get her a leash and collar. Mike is going to love her!!

Hurricane - Jan 2010

After spending Wednesday -Saturday morning with Cam, Whit and Charlie, I dropped Jess off to catch a flight home for work and then headed down to Hurricane to see my mom and dad. I was so happy to see that they are mostly doing well. Mom's ability to do what she wants is as good as it was when she left and they are both healthy for the time being.

I don't do a lot when I am with them but they appreciate the meals being prepared and the extra things I can do quickly. The weather was beautiful and I walked each day in 50+ sunshine. Also had to take my ride through Zion's as I never get tired of seeing it's beauties. I am grateful for such loving, generous, kind, and righteous parents. Can't imagine who I would have become without them and their continuous examples.

Jessamyn's chosen family

Jessamyn has been viewing couples on the LDS site who are wanting to adopt. She had put in a couple parameters and then looked through 70 plus couples sites. She found two families initially that she wanted me to look at. They both seemed fantastic. After a few weeks of continuing to ponder and pray, she had decided that Brandi and Eric from Utah were her choice as parents of her baby girl.

While we were in Utah, she connected with the service and after some fanegaling was able to be put in touch with Brandi. They set up a meet and Whitney was chosen to go to this initial meeting to support Jess. I didn't mind one bit as I know that I can be over-the-top with questions and comments when I should be listening more.

Cam, Charlie and I met all of them at the end of the meeting and we liked them immediately. Jessamyn had received the confirmation she needed and so she told them right there that she wanted them to have her baby. We all cried! It was very touching! Now there is truly something to be joyful about with this pregnancy. Jessamyn is going to bless so many lives just as her birth mother has blessed ours. So great!!

Jessamyn meets Charlie - Dec 29, 2009

It's true! Jessamyn had never had the chance to meet her adorable nephew, Charlie. So we made a plan and drove to Utah on wings with no snow to slow us down. It was magical! Watching Jessamyn just soak him in was so wonderful. They got on famously!

And fun for me is the fact that because of all the times Cam put Charlie on the webcam, he knew my face and voice immediately. Now that was a great feeling!!

December 2009 - Christmas

Berta was hospitalized on her 94th birthday, the 18th of December. She has had a lot of pain and we couldn't control it so there she went. They did back surgery and actually solved the pain problem. She was weakened by the ordeal and is currently in a rehab facility to see if she can get strong enough to move somewhere else. I don't think she'll be able to go home again. Sad day.

Christmas Eve was spent up at the Crawford's. Mike ended up going to the hospital as his mom had just contracted puenomia. Jess and I ate with Jerry, Denise, Morgan and Peter and also the missionaries (two of my favorites ever) Elders Holtom and Clawson. After the elders left, the rest of us acted out the nativity. Denise had beautiful costumes for all of us. Jerry was the narrator and we sang many a song along the journey. It was beautiful and touching to me. I'm so glad Jess was there to share it.

Christmas morning was nice with Mike and I being home with Jessamyn. None of us had much money to spend, so we didn't. Mike made Jessamyn a groovy, sharp knife and he made me a black-handled kitchen set. Jess was extravagant with me and got me a new fairly inexpensive camera so I would quit using hers. She is sweet! For friends and family I made magnets on cool paper that said, "Be of Good Cheer!" (Denise's favorite saying) That along with homemade raspberry jam that was put up in the summer. Desperation breeds invention!! So it was a cheap and happy Christmas. We ate our traditional Cheese Bread on Christmas morning and celebrated the Savior's birth.